For years I knew I was an alcoholic, but honestly, I didn’t really want to do anything about it. Alcoholism is a progressive disease; it always gets worse, never better. I could stop drinking, it was staying stopped that was the problem.

I always thought alcohol was my problem, or everyone else who had a problem with my drinking. I realize now, alcohol wasn’t my problem, I was; alcohol was my solution. Since I started drinking at an early age, around 15, I never really learned how to deal with my emotions in a healthy manner. Even though I had a great childhood and never experience anything traumatic, I found it hard to express how I was feeling. I was always pretty emotional, even as a child. Seeing people hurting or animals in trouble always caused me great sadness. Whether or not this had any contributing factor to my alcoholism… well, I’m not sure. Fact is, it doesn’t matter why I’m an alcoholic; once a pickle, never a cucumber.

In alcoholism treatment you’ll often hear a saying; sober up a horse thief and you’ve still got a horse thief. So even though you take away the alcohol, in most cases, there are still some underlying emotional issues that need to be addressed. To treat alcoholism, one must be able to learn how to deal with their emotions in a healthy manner.

The main thing about alcoholism treatment in my case was learning how to accept myself. Learning self-acceptance begin with learning how to have a healthy relationship with myself. As I looked back over my drinking years, I realize I must not have cared much about myself. Had I truly loved myself, I would not have treated myself the way I did. Recovery from alcoholism began with learning how to love myself. Once I accepted and loved myself, everything else fell into place.

Recovery is who I am today and not just something I do. My recovery program consists of three things I strive to achieve on a daily bases; trust God, morally clean house, and help others. The result is a life better than anything I ever could have imagined.